VI. The "Hollywood" Party

"You know that I hate Meese's to pieces,
Commission on all major indices,"
Rinse Dream was saying at another party,
Telling about a lawyerly sortie
That could potentially shut down his own
And half the movies being made in porn,
"All from a performer named Raquel Felch
Who claims it was her own underaged self
Who sold a zillion copies of Either/Or
At ev'ry mom and pop video store
So that each copy must be removéd
And all her producers be reprovéd:
Product that's shipped can't be exhibited;
Product that's not to be re-edited."

"Does Cafe Flesh  contain Raquel in it?"
"Her voluptuity for a minute
Brightens an otherwise drab orgy scene
That Steve Awesome is just now editing,
And I swear to you if she's not eighteen
Then each male eye in Van Nuys is unclean
So full-formed and womanly is that girl's
Body, demanding to be seen unfurled.
Even were she not on paper legal
Credit should be given for wiles regal
To seduce any man, I don't care who:
Barrister, priest, homosexual too!
What's a birth certificate against that
If not a mouse to play with like a cat?"

Then to Tex's wandering eye appears
A gold-painted woman from head to rear.
"Oh my! What's that delicious, fatal smell
If not that self-same succubus, Raquel?"
Tex wore a face like Auric Goldfinger's
At Fort Knox. "Her body's a dead ringer
For Rita Hayworth's or for Marilyn's,
Too steamy to see is my suspicion.
You must let us do your photo, sweetie,
I'll even waive half my usual fee."
"A destitute minor can't pay your rates,
But couldn't we work out something in trade?"
"I'll grab my camera, the deal is Scotch:
No money's exchanged and I get to watch.

"Emily, can you decorate the set?
These portraits could be my best photos yet!"
"Now, hold on, partner, I'll just be a bit.
(Can't remember Tex so anxious to shoot!)
I'll style the shot in a minute after
Seeing six-million-dollar editor."
Advising brother to act with caution,
Emily took off to find Steve Awesome,
Who complained, "It's so bad in the porn game,
I can't even use my legit fake name
On this cutting gig for Rinse's movie
Like Rumplestiltskin ordered, a doozie:
Excising from the completed product
Ev'ry frame of that seducer's conduct."

Michelle Bauer, star of Cafe Flesh under the pseudonym "Pia Snow," is one of a handful of actresses who may legitimately be called "Scream Queens," due to their many B-grade, horror movie appearances.